“So laddy, ya come to me on this fine November day to hear a story do ye? What’s that you say? The first Thanksgiving? Yes, I know that one well, not the story you know, mind ye. This is a story of bravery and cunning unheard of in todays day and age…nay, of all time!
“Come, come closer me boy, this is a story ye not wanting to be missing”
It was another chilly November, much like this years. The trees had only traces of the leaves they once had, and the earth seemed as though it was painted brown. In a small village near the coast, the local pilgrims and their new found Indian friends were in the process of gathering for a great feast in celebration of the harvest.
Unbeknownst to the villagers, off in the distance, a pirate ship had laid eyes upon the town, and were making their way for the shore. These pirates were under the command of Roguespeare the pirate, a nasty man with a vicious temper, and a thirst for blood that seemed unquenchable. Roguespeare had only one plan for the village folk and the Indians. Slaughter and destroy, because what he wanted was buried deep beneath the village.
Legend told of a great and terrible power buried beneath the village, one that if could be obtained would guarantee ultimate supremacy. Roguespeare wanted this power, and would do whatever it took to obtain it. Not wanting to disturb the “item” he decided that firing upon the village would be a bad idea, so he chose to take a large group of his men ashore and storm the village.
Roguespeare and his pirates landed the ship upon the shore a ways from their intended destination, hoping to catch the unsuspecting townsfolk off guard. After a small hike, Rogespeare and his crew came upon the tiny village. Hiding among the bushes, the pirates began to scope out their prey. The village was practically begging to be attacked, there appeared to be no guards of any sort. “The fools!” Roguespeare spat, “they don’t know what they be standing upon!! Come, me mateys, let’s show these landlubbers the color of their innards!!”
At that instant, a loud BOOM echoed in the air. One of Roguespears drunk cannoneers had fired a cannon ball straight at the village. The villagers, reacting to the noise, seemed to scatter and disappear into their homes only to reemerge armed to the teeth with a large variety of weapons. Behind them, the Indians could be seen unfolding battle spears and stringing bows. After a few seconds, the cannon struck the ground in the center of the village, only to disappear into the earth.
Roguespeare and his pirates were dumbfounded, but after a second’s delay rushed screaming into the village ready for blood. The village/Indian alliance stood their ground as the pirates charged, but before the pirates could make it to the line of natives, a bright light erupted from the ground where the cannonball had landed. There, from out of the earth emerged large metallic figures. They stood seven feet tall, with large blocky bodies and lights shining from their eyes. What appeared to be the leader stepped out and spoke.
“Mortals, you have awakened the great X-2431 planet purification system. Prepare to be purified”
Both the villagers/Indians and the Pirates looked at each other dumbfounded. Roguespeare stepped out from his pirates and approached the robots. “Listen metal man, ye best be wanting to shove off if ya know whats best for ye. I be thinking that these landlubbers and me crew are more than a match for ye and ye group of tin cans!”
“Nay mortal,” the robot leader responded, “ you and your men have exactly a 0.0001% chance of victory. Struggling is useless, prepare to be purified.”
“I thought ye might say something like that,” Roguespeare responded, “Then I guess ye were expectin sum’thin like this to happen!” With those words, Rogespeare raised his pistol into the air and fired a shot. Suddenly, the sound of another cannon firing could be heard in the distance. Seconds later, the cannon landed directly into the cluster of robots, completely and utterly destroying them.
“HA! Have at ye scum! I think this calls for some celebration, is that a turkey I be spyin? Go laddys carve em up and let us feast!” Roguespeare yelled!
“And there ye have it laddys, that be the story of the first Thanksgiving. What? Were ye expecting something different?”
D.Boud
