[The story opens with two people knocking on the door of an old rickety castle.]
Dame: Edgar, I don't think he's home. Can we leave now?
Edgar: Confoun' it woman! Gi' the man a minute ta answer! His castle is bloody huge!
Dame: This castle just gives me the creeps, Edgar. I really want to leave right now.
[The door begins to creep open.]
Edgar: Ya see, woman, gotta 'ave a wee bit more patience.
Damian: Evening, Edgar, Dame. What brings you two all the way out to my humble abode?
Edgar: Wha' in the blue blazes ye talkin' 'bout man? Yer the one who called us out 'ere.
Damian: Ah, I see.
[Damian slumps over with a knife protruding from his back.]
Edgar and Dame: . . .
Edgar: Oim gettin' to old for this crap. Woman, gimme mah flask, we're goin' home.
Dame: Wait! Edgar! What about Damian! He's been murdered!
Edgar: Aye wench, that he has. There prolly be good reasonin' behin' it, too.
Dame: What do you mean?
Edgar: Oim lyin', lass. I jus' dun care that he been murdered.
Dame: Edgar! He was clearly murdered in front of us. Don't you want to investigate his creepy old castle to find the murderer?
Edgar: Oye di'nt see nuffin'.
[Edgar and Dame leave, never to return.]
—Josh
