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#1 :  The Big BossRandomStoryTheatre.html

Hey guys, I feel it's important to tell you this, just to get it all out in the open...


If I was the final boss of a JRPG I would have an awesome opening quote.


"I'll reduce you to nothing."


My stage or evil lair would be on THE SUN.


Mid fight when it looks like the good guys are winning I'd say something like

"Not bad, but can you stand up to this?"

Suddenly I can control all the crazy gases and flames on the surface of the sun. I imagine myself whipping them around and dealing massive damage.


When I KO a party member I would say something snarky to piss everyone off.

"Pathetic."

or

"Is that all the strength you have?"


Seem like good choices.


Near the end of the fight would be a series of quicktime events ala Kingdom Hearts 2.


upon my defeat I would kneel and say

"Your power is admirable, but I'm afraid I'm just a pawn."


The real final boss working behind the scenes the entire time reveals himself... It's the Leader/King of whatever the major country is that the good guys fight for. The King had long since been killed and replaced by the dark entity controlling everything that has happened for the last 50 years.


The real final fight begins. The good guys are easily over powered. That's where I step in and push the evil being back and join the heroes party briefly to defeat him.


"He controlled me like a puppet for the last 10 years, now I'll pay him back one hundred fold!"


The boss is easily defeated beneath the combined might of the newly formed super party, but he does something unexpected...he tries to merge with the sun.


Crazy sun flare beasts and other various highly lethal monsters start emerging from the surface of the sun, all creations by the dark entity to slow us down long enough for him to merge perfectly with the sun. Thus the gauntlet run to the boss begins.


It doesnt take long for us to make it to the core and see the hideously disfigured beast trying to merge with the sun. The battle starts.


He starts the battle with this line


"I've been in existence since the dawn of time, I've spent eons orchestrating these events to perfection, HOW CAN A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS RUIN MY PERFECT PLANS!"


The fight is long, painful, and relatively boring until the last 1/4th of his health. He begins to grow in size as energy stores within him. Once he reaches critical mass he fires a huge beam of energy straight at us.


I step forward and say


"Let me make up for the horrible things I've done while under his control. It's up to you *insert main characters name*."


I hold out my hands and stop the beam as the party calls to me to stop and come back.


I use my amazing abilities to slow the blast to a crawl and then teleport the dangerous amount of energy far away, along with myself.


After my heroic sacrifice that probably should have killed me the good guys win and everything is happy. At least for now.


I come back in the sequel as a staple party member, however, I have amnesia and a cool mask. Nobody is able to figure out my identity until 3/4ths of the way through the 2nd game. I am also still a total badass.

                                                                                           —J-Set

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Oct. 15th ’09RandomStoryTheatre.html

Not Really But Seriously